Welcome to my personal blog. This where you can find out a bit more about my views on life as a sex worker and there is probably a good deal of self-indulgence which is often found in autobiographical material. If you’re bored already, you’ve probably clicked the wrong blog, and you’re after my erotic blog where I share my dirty fantasy stories and true accounts of my time with clients – I’m told that it’s excellent material for masturbation and all free of charge!
I guess, like anything at all, it’s difficult to start something, whether it’s a new job or a curriculum vitae, and starting my blog has taken a bit of thought. Perhaps though, there is nowhere better to start than with the image at the top of this page. Despite a fear of setting the tone a bit too ‘artistically high-brow’ for some of my readers, I wanted to talk about this quite famous painting by Pablo Picasso Les Demoiselles d’Avignon, translated as ‘The Brothel of Avinon’. Having seen it so many times throughout my life, I hadn’t, until last year, realised that it is a painting of prostitutes in the window of a brothel which Picasso came across in a street of Barcelona. I don’t want to get into aesthetics, and the influences he took from African art which have been discussed widely. I want to weigh in on what I believe I see in the painting in relation to my work which I doubt many prostitutes have done.
When it was first exhibited in 1919 it was thought of as obscene, of course, and actually, nowadays, I think it might be held up by the moralist society of today as a picture of sadness, and female oppression. It’s not an especially happy painting or an erotic one as it happens nevertheless, I don’t think of it as either of these things when I see the picture. I believe Picasso was certainly trying to touch something that other people didn’t see. My perception of the women is of course that they are exhibiting themselves, in much the same way I do, but not in a shop window. There is very little that is not for sale in this world, and this is just a part of life. The women are individuals, different shapes and different colours, maybe uniting them through their profession where they otherwise would not have met, and this rings true of many women who work in brothels. In my time I have made friends with other women from all walks of life that I would not have known otherwise, and this is always a positive thing. My long experience of prostitution, as you might know, is not negative at all but extremely positive. Picasso marks out their faces asymmetrically and this gives them an individuality that the so-called feminists have completely missed.
The women depicted are individuals, they are all different, no two are driven by exactly the same reasons, they come to the job for similar things but not exactly the same thing. It’s true that many do come to avoid poverty or debt. Others do it for sex, others for thrills or kicks (yeah, I wonder who that is?), and others to support their children long term. Many women have horses to pay for, and that’s not a cheap hobby to have. Some do it to escape violent husbands and take back control of their sex life and finances. Some have a day job, and there is a new influx of people working day jobs as nurses and beginning escorting to supplement their income, that is, instead of going to the food bank. Many women and men work in the sex trade to pay for their own education in the hope that one day they won’t be facing a lifetime of student debt. These are all ordinary people hiding behind the social stigma of prostitution that is the only sadness in the job.
Most of all when I look at the painting, I see masks. The faces are not those of realism but the faces of unknown people. The woman who takes your money, you don’t really know who she is, and sometimes she might not be sure who she is herself. So, for fear of going on a bit too long, (I hate long reads and people who use brackets!) firstly, thanks to Picasso for thinking of us with such a remarkable painting that changed the face of art and lastly, thanks for reading.
Participation in a blog is a two-way process, the writer has to be giving out a worthwhile message for people to keep reading. Many of my clients ask me questions about my work and how it connects with my personal life. They assume, wrongly, that I don’t like it, and I’m a great actress, and do it for the money. This is a myth that society wants you to believe; please don’t. I’ve never known anyone work in the industry for more than a couple of days, if they hated it. Some women will pretend they don’t like it, but I can tell you that they do, as long as they are doing it of their own free will, and they are over 18. Of course, there is a difference between hating the job and being not very good at it, so have some sympathy for those women who are just a bit rubbish at
their job. Obviously, this isn’t me (!), so, know when you come to see me that I am enjoying my job and getting paid well for it.